You don't have to know why you're here yet. You just have to arrive.
At the intersection between Parkwood and Rosebank, and between who you've been and who you might become.
– Dr Esther van der Walt, Clinical Psychologist
Embedded Files
Welcome and an introduction
Welcome, and thank you for the visit. You may stay on this site for a short while, or maybe this is the beginning of a period within which we walk together on your healing path. Trust that you will arrive where you need to be.
I am a clinical psychologist in private practice, with special interests in
Motherhood and maternal identity
Second half of life (from menopause onwards)
New life stages (e.g. new parenthood, separation/divorce, career changes, menopause, retirement)
Psychotherapy for healthcare practitioners
Ketamine-assisted psychotherapy
I have moved between corporate, training, and clinical environments before arriving in my own clinical psychology private practice a decade and a half ago. In my practice, I offer myself as witness to your past stories, co-creating your current and future stories with you, while practicing and teaching to be fully present with you in the NOW.
Why psychotherapy?
The objective of psychotherapy
I believe the universal motivation for psychotherapy has something to do with moving closer to our essential Selves; to authenticity and to personal and collective freedom, away from suffering and the blind following of collective norms. This lifelong movement is, in Jungian language, called individuation. It is only from a whole-person perspective that we are able to reclaim our life force, a deep respect for ourselves and others, and a sense of re-enchantment, awe, and wonder in nature and in life. It is also only from this perspective that we can begin to move beyond racism, xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny, haughtiness/superiority/self-importance, and other ways of diminishing and othering people.
The psychotherapy process
I see psychotherapy as a movement from a painful, often narrow place of being stuck, toward a place of less pain and greater possibility. This process can lead to a significant reduction in distress, greater satisfaction in relationships, deeper personal awareness and insight, better tools for managing stress, resolution of specific problems, and an expanded sense of freedom and choice.
At first, you may feel more discomfort before you feel less. Revisiting difficult stories can bring up pain, sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, frustration, loneliness, and helplessness. The potential for change largely lies in your willingness to trust the process, your determination not to give up, the work you do between sessions, and your courage to bring your real stories into the room. Getting there takes guts, time, and trust in someone you initially don't know from a bar of soap. As much as I would like to, I cannot offer a quick fix.
What to expect in the room
My practice sits on the threshold between leafy Parkwood and the urban Rosebank CBD. My practice room is a sitkamer rather than a consulting room; a sitting room rather than an office. In my sitkamer we sit together, listening to and retelling stories and dreams, whether through language (English and Afrikaans), art-making, mindfulness practices, or a bit of each. We practise suspending judgement and expectation, learning about grace and pause and paying attention, and together we build practical plans for real life changes. On those ants-in-the-pants days, we can take to the streets for a walk-and-a-talk rather than the stillness of the room.
• The assessment phase
The first two or three sessions involve a comprehensive exploration of your needs, alongside a conversation about my background and what I believe I can offer. By the end of this phase, I will be able to share some initial impressions of what our work together might look like. We then both decide whether we are a good fit. You are free to discuss my approach and your experience at any time. Please be honest at this stage, and if you feel you need something or someone different, I will gladly refer you to another psychotherapist or mental health practitioner who may be a better match.
• Actual experiences
Experiences and activities in the room will be determined by the therapy process and your personal preferences, and may include any or all of the following:
Free-associative conversations and storytelling,
Dreamwork,
Art-making,
Skills learning (e. g. guided meditations, body scans, breathing exercises, etc.),
A walk around the hood,
Structured ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (psychotherapeutic preparation and integration).
• Session frequency and length
By now you may have gathered that I am one of those old-school, analogue people who don't wear a digital device on my wrist. That said, I do keep to weekly or twice weekly sessions of 50 or 80 minutes. The frequency and session length optimal for you will be determined and discussed during the assessment phase, and may be adapted as we continue.
My therapeutic approach
I have a strong resistance to the power dynamics that so often exist between medical professionals and their patients. Even though I may have more expertise and experience than you in some areas, I do not necessarily know what is best for you in all of them. We will therefore create your healing process together, as we go along.
Stories
I never paid much attention to stories until my drama teacher enacted the wailing of The Women of Troy in class, midway through my high school years. She opened the sluices, and since then I have never stopped reading, listening to, and telling stories. Stories have shaped my ear in professional practice, teaching me that we all live our own unique versions of the human story that has been playing itself out since the beginning of human time.
In my work, my focus is on the functionality of your behavioural patterns. I do not think in terms of heroes and villains, right and wrong, good and bad — which is, ironically, the opposite of the great mythologies, where heroes and anti-heroes, gods and mortals were born. I listen to the stories you tell about yourself, your life, and all the characters in them. As I get to know your stories, we think together about how functional/effective they are, how you would like to change them, how you can tell them in ways that work better for you and those around you, and what you need to do or change in your life to make that happen.
Ecosystems
I think of you as a system rather than an isolated entity — a web of interconnections between your body, mind, and soul. I also think of you as existing within multiple external systems: your family of origin, your current family or household, your social, cultural, and faith communities, your work environment, South Africa as a social and political system, this continent, the world, and the planet in its current state. We work with the concentric circles within you and between you and others, exploring how they ripple inward and outward, continuously influencing and replicating one another.
Psychodynamics
In practical terms, psychodynamic theory means that I believe all humans have an unconscious, and that we are often driven by it in our conscious thoughts and actions — by forces we are not even aware of. I also believe that our families of origin and early life experiences have a profound impact on how our brains develop, how we see the world, and how we repeat patterns of behaviour and relationship. Through storytelling and sometimes dreamwork, we develop insight into old patterns that no longer serve us, and through skills learning we work to replace them with more effective ones.
Skills learning
It is well established that our bodies and minds are part of the same ecosystem, therefore closely connected, and continuously influencing one another. Together we will explore ways in which you can improve your mental health and wellbeing through this body-mind connection. In skills learning I draw from mindfulness practices and homework commonly used in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). I will encourage you to build small daily practices that help you shed unnecessary noise, move closer to the essence of who you are, and reconnect with an enchanting world you may have left behind in growing out of childhood, or in the wake of traumatic life events.
Neuroplasticity and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy
One of the most exciting developments in neuroscience during my lifetime is the discovery that, even though our brains are most malleable during childhood, they retain the ability to change, learn, and heal throughout life. We can establish new neuropathways through even very simple, repeated daily tasks, which means that even very old dogs can learn new tricks (for real!).
The most recent neuroscientific research points to another exciting frontier: the potential for increased brain plasticity through hallucinogenic, empathogenic, and dissociative plant- and molecule-based substances. Part of my practice is to offer ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, in which ketamine is used to temporarily enhance brain plasticity, and psychotherapy provides guidance in making use of that window of openness.
The ketamine infusions are administered by a specialist infusionist in a highly controlled clinical environment, following rigorous psychiatric screening, and not in a psychotherapy practice.
My special interests
Although I have a general adult practice, I know I work better in certain areas than others. I do not see clients under the age of 30 — we simply don't get each other, and I can refer you or your child to a trusted colleague who will serve you far better. I am also not the right fit for acute eating disorders or active substance addictions, but I have colleagues who are excellent in these areas and I am happy to refer you.
Maternal identity
I am a mother, and I have extensive professional experience in parent counselling. I also completed a doctoral study on maternal identity at the University of Modena and Reggio Emilia (UNIMORE) in northern Italy.
The task of becoming and being a mother is not primarily about learning techniques or approaches — although these often help. It is about discovering what it means, specifically, to be the mother of your children: how they experience you, and what impact you have on their developing sense of self and the world. I will not tell you what to do in raising your children, but rather explore with you your maternal identity, your parenting roles, the social expectations placed on you as a mother, and how all of these shape your parenting. Together we will find ways forward that benefit both you and your children.
Life stages, menopause, second half of life
I am drawn to the navigation between life stages — whether you are entering a new relationship, parenthood, separation or divorce, menopause, or retirement, and the existential meaning-making that so often accompanies these transitions. I am particularly interested in women's health from menopause onwards, and in the significant shift from a first half of life focused on acquisition, building, and – for some women – childrearing, to a second half oriented towards reflection, inner and spiritual development, and the search for deeper meaning.
Psychotherapy for healthcare practitioners
For many healthcare practitioners, this work is a calling rather than a choice. That calling is too often accompanied by a saviour idealism — understandable, perhaps, in a healthcare system that is at best desperately under-resourced and at worst actively harmful — too often leading to an overextension of the therapist's self and eventual burnout. Self-care, including one's own psychotherapy, is a crucial part of professional longevity. If this resonates with you, I would love to walk alongside you.
Offerings
Individual adult psychotherapy (weekly or twice weekly, 50/80 mins),
Parent support and couples psychotherapy (weekly, 80 mins),
Mother Breaks (fortnighthly open psychotherapy group for mothers, 90 mins),
Mother Breaks (single day Johannesburg-based retreats and multiday retreats out of the city).
I do not offer fortnightly or less frequent psychotherapy for new clients.
Qualifications
PhD
UNIMORE, Italy — Thesis topic: Maternal Identity: A Social Construct
MA (Clin Psych)
UJ — cum laude
BA Hons
UNISA
Community Arts Counselling
Lefika la Phodiso
Contact details
Email
practice@dr.esthervdw.co.za
Practice Address
44 Ashford Road, Upper Parkwood, Johannesburg, South Africa
Enquiries
Please submit the form below if you wish to enquire about session fees and my current availability, as I mostly have limited spaces available:
Link to form here.
(Your information is treated as strictly confidential and protected according to the POPIA guidelines.)
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